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A Better Coach, A Better Husband, A Better Father

Submitted on February 17, 2012 - 3:20pm

Join us next week Feb 24-25, 2012

FREE Character Building Clinic hosted by SportsLeader for Coaches and Captains
Please RSVP!

Below is a wonderful testimony from a coach in our association who feels that his life and his family have been changed for the better through virtue and growing closer to God.
 
May his words fire you up to keep going!
 
Thank you, Sal, for sharing.
...
 

Lou,

I wanted to share with you the impact your SportsLeader program has had in my own life. Having been a man of faith for several years, I, like most people, wondered away from God's glory. Over the last few years, and especially since the passing of my father in 2009, I have felt God calling me back into His way. I've dabbled and studied the Bible over the years and know that God is faithful and He does not give up on us. His Son did not die for us so we would be lost forever. 

At St. Gertrude Parish we implemented the SportsLeader Virtue Program this year. As the head coach of the 7th/8th grade football team, I realized I needed to live the life God has called me to live, a life that reflects His Son. If I tried to fake it the kids would never believe in what we were teaching. So I dove into the Word and got back to praying to God. God, through SportsLeader and your friendship, changed my heart. His strength is in me because of the virtues I try to live. I am not perfect but God is. I am weak but He is strong. Living His virtue = Having His strength. 

As you and I have discussed, I felt God is moving on men all over to stand up and be the MEN God created us to be. That we need to share our faith with our families and with those around us. That we need to be the spiritual leaders of our house and our community. Through trying to be that leader for my football team, I started to be that leader in my home. 

I came to the realization that I was not treating my children with the same patience and respect I gave my football players. Through prayer and study of God's word, I have changed how I parent. I am more of a coach at home than a dictator. In just under a year my 14 year old daughter, who is a freshman in high school, has taken her grades from failing to A/B with a few high C's. Just by taking the time to go over things as many times as needed, just like I do with my players. 

I also came to the realization that I needed to pray with my wife. I found that very intimate and extremely difficult. It is easy for me to get up in front of my football players and pray, pray with the opposing team after a game, but to lay in bed with my wife and pray for our marriage, the kids and the infertility we have been dealing with the last year was petrifying. Through the Spirit working in my heart, I worked on it and realized I feared my wife judging me as either a hypocrite or a fanatic. She knows me more intimately than anyone else. 
 
But through the grace of God and the Blood of Christ, I was able to see I was only psyching myself out. That I needed to trust in God to come to Him through Jesus Christ as His Word says to do. So I started praying for my marriage, my wife and for God to bless us with a child. This is my wife's first pregnancy and she has been such a wonderful mother to my two kids that I believe she deserves to have one of her own. I prayed to God and it took time. I took time for me to realize that I'm to come to Him and pray it as if it were already so. We did. We prayed that God would do this in His time, and I'm honored to say God blessed us, and my wife is now 2 months pregnant. 

The last thing I would say that I've realized because of my new devotion to Christ and the study of my Bible is the excitement and courage to share God's love, mercy and grace with others. Let's face it, John 3:16 says He so loved the world that He gave His only Son for us, to die for us and to save us from separation from Him. That kind of love needs to be shared. As Christ said, if you deny Me before man I will deny you before the Father. I know I surely want Christ to call me a friend when I face Him in Heaven, so I better get out there and share what he has done for me now. 

Having a friend like you who is not afraid to share his love for Christ excites that same passion in me. It is great to see your love not only for Christ but for the young catholic men in our community. That you have made it your life's ministry to go out and as iron sharpens iron, sharpen the hearts and virtues of young men to be leaders in Christ in the servant/leader attitude Christ taught. Through your leadership with the SportsLeader Virtues Program, you are not only promoting change in our young men but also in the coaches that you come in contact with. We need more men of faith not afraid to say that they belong to Christ. 

Thank you Lou for bringing SportsLeader into my life. God used that tool to make me a better coach, a better husband, a better father and a better servant of Christ. 

God Bless You,

Sal

~Choose to be Awesome and make today an Outstanding day!

 

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Two Outstanding Young Men

Submitted on February 15, 2012 - 2:24pm

Join us next week Feb 24-25, 2012

FREE Character Building Clinic hosted by SportsLeader for Coaches and Captains
Please RSVP!

Below are a series of emails that I wanted to share that I believe sums up very well what SportsLeader is all about ...
 
The emotion, the passion, the struggles, the hopes ... seeing the results and having a heart exult with pride.
 
Maybe you are not seeing some of these results at this moment ... but KNOW that you are changing lives.
 
Enjoy!
 

Lou,
 
I am sending you this email with joy in my heart, and a bit of emotion on my sleeve.  It has been less than a year still since I took over here at Madison Southern.  With 3 wins in the previous 4 years, you can imagine what the confidence, attitude, and overall work ethic of this place has been.  Not good would be a kind statement.  My goal in taking this job is to of course turn around a program that  everyone feels is a losser, but more importantly I wanted to get closer to the root of impacting kids.  At the collegiant level I only had so much influence, as they are sure of who they are by then.  Madison Southern was my chance to change lives on the ground floor, and make men out of boys.
 
I have to admitt, at times this year I have struggled to see as much progress as I wanted with my leadership and character development.  During season, it was shining through our young men on a daily basis.  I could see it in their eyes and in their determination to not quite despite a rough season (we won 2 games, which I felt was decent with where we started).  After season, kids go their own ways and they became distant from the program.  This is usually short lived, but I could see the changes in character and virtue taking place, and not for the better. 
 
I am a perfectionist by nature and I want to see every kid that comes through my program become the best he can be.  I struggle sometimes with the realization that this isn't always going to be the case, despite my tireless efforts.  Some people just choose the path of lease resenstance.  That being said, I struggle seeing the good things we are doing sometimes because I am always focused on for lack of a better term, my failures (the ones that I know have the potential to be men of virtue and strength but struggle making good decisions).  I often feel that for every step I take forward with one kid there is always another who will take two steps back. 
 
There is an email below that I recieved today that almost brought me to tears (sad I know, but it hit me).  It is something that has given me fuel to keep fighting the good fight, and ever harder.  I have never felt as proud of anything, as I do of the young men listed in this email.  It reaffirms me that we are getting through to them and that we are making better men.  It takes time and it does not happen over night, but it happens...and because of us.
 
I have to preference this story a bit, as to why it makes me so emotional.  They young men in this story are young men I selected to do this based on that fact that they have nothing at home...money is very tight and they struggle constantly financially. 
 
Thank you for all your guidance and support.  It is trickling down Lou...1 drop at a time. 
 
Jon Clark

Head Football Coach
Madison Southern High School
...

From: Ramage, Amy
Subject: FW: Two Outstanding Young Men at MSHS

Coach Clark,
First, thank you for assisting me by finding two outstanding young men who helped me to move last Friday.  Wes and Brett were both great help.  I wanted to share with you what I shared with Superintendent Floyd this morning.  I have been around young people all of my adult life, and maybe two or three times have I ever been as moved as I was by what Brett Sipple said and did last Friday. 
 
Thanks, again.  I can see the character that you and your program is building in your young men and you should be so proud.  Whether they having a championship season on the field or not, these two young men are going to be winners in the game of life.   Brett invited me to come to a game this fall to see them play.  If I can get back to the area from western Kentucky on a game night, I will definitely be there to see them play.
 
Thanks, again-
Amy Ramage
...

From: Ramage, Amy 
 
Mr. Floyd,
 
I hope this finds you well.  I wanted to share something with you because this is indicative of what I always found so special about Madison County and the people there.  I think it also represents what you see there and what you are working for every day.
 
Working through Coach Clark, I asked if he could find me a couple of football players whom I could hire to help me load furniture for the move last Friday.  Coach Clark arranged for Brett Sipple and Wes Proctor to come over Friday after school for $50.00 each.  First, I have to tell you that these two young men were extremely polite and respectful (and they were great heavy lifters!). When I went to pay them is when I was touched more than I have been in a long time. 
 
Brett Sipple explained that he could not take any money because he was seeking to be “an uncommon man” and he wanted to do things for people who needed help without taking anything in return.  He then offered to go with us to help unload (not knowing we were going over 200 miles).  I finally got them to take the $100 on the condition that they find something to do with the money that would make a difference for others—whether it was at their church, their school, or their community. 
 
Eddie and I were so moved we were still talking about it this morning.  I am going to email their coach, but I wanted you to know in case you are at Southern and see them.  I was so impressed with them and the great character that they showed.
 
Take care,
 
Amy Ramage
District Assessment Coordinator
Christian County Public Schools

 

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The More Virtue - The Better

Submitted on November 29, 2011 - 8:34am

 
Here below are numerous comments from parents associated with the Cincinnati St Gertrude football program. Their boys were on four different teams ranging in age from 5-13.

The season goes by so fast. We'll never regret giving kids "too much" virtue.

...

I wanted to share comments about our boys from St. Thomas More's varsity coach. My cousin and her family go to St. Thomas More, her daughter was working concession stand, and my cousin was speaking to the varsity head coach after our game. He told her we were the nicest team they'd played and they were very impressed with our boys' attitudes - how they kept working hard, never giving up, not getting frustrated, just playing hard, and playing clean.

So I wanted to pass that on.  The coach did not know that my cousin had any connection to St. Gertrude - it was just an observation to her about our team.

Also, during the season, I noticed that our boys were not looking for "help" from the refs, not questioning calls, or getting huffy if a penalty was called on them, whether  they felt it was deserved or not.  They seemed to handle that part of the game with maybe a little more maturity.
...

First thank you to all of the men who coached our boys – they were wonderful! David truly loved his first football experience. He said just the other night – “Mom, you know what – it is nine months until football season…." He cannot wait to get back to it…

I think that being part of something that you feel that you really love doing makes all the difference – David grew as a young man  - part of a team – and he knows his prayers better then all of us…
...

Sometimes with team sports you worry about – sportsmanship -    Not with this program – nothing gets lost…….. great game – great kids – thank you!!!
...

We think the SportsLeader program is a very good initiative taken by the school.  I think the boys benefitted from the program and it was good to see a program encouraging the father/son relationship.  I think we are off to a good start with this program.  This was the first year which is the year to learn and grow upon.  I think more organized/coordinated events (like what we did this year) in the future will benefit the families and program even more.    It is a great step in the right direction. 
...

I wanted to pass on my sincerest thanks to all of you for a great season. Your time and dedication to coaching our varsity team is appreciated more than you know. I do believe the boys grew in their roles and worked very hard to do their very best in every game. I am proud of them and they should be proud of their accomplishments too. I am grateful for each of you and the leadership you showed them as they all learned by your example. Some of the new traditions implemented this year definitely gave St Gertrude distinction over other schools and brought honor to our program, each of you as coaches, and our boys.  I was impressed by all and know others were as well.
...

Overall, I feel SportsLeader is a positive program, giving the boys the understanding that God should be the focus of everything they do including athletics.  I have witnessed positive behavior, leadership and sportsmanship from the boys that have improved; it is my opinion, because of the program.  I think it is important for SportsLeader to be adjusted or combined with other existing traditions the sports program has... for example, having a campout, football mass and dad jersey ceremony...am I missing anything...on the same weekend is too much. Next year events need to be planned out before the season so parents can make plans.
...

I think the program is great! I liked the mass and the jersey presentation early in the season
I loved what you guys did last weekend for the moms – the letters, roses and even Starbucks coffee was perfect! All in all the more virtues that the boys are exposed to the better.
...

SportsLeader is a great thing.  It is a great innovation.  _____  personally has had a great season.  He is not the fastest or most aggressive player, but he has learned that he’s capable of more than he realizes.  He has enjoyed the season.  He’s gotten in great physical shape.  More than that, he has become more mature and responsible – both in how he plans for his practices, and in how he takes care of his school work and handles himself in the household.  His grades are better than last year.  He walks taller than he did.
...

I think it is great when both teams assemble after a game to say a prayer - this great example "spreads the word" to the other schools and anyone in the stands watching.
...

We think the program has been awesome. I even asked the boys the other day what they felt about it. Both responses were positive and they felt it truly helps the kids be nicer to each other. I know the father/son jersey presentation meant a ton to both dad and the boys. It is so good for the boys to hear such love from their dads. I appreciated the letters the boys wrote to me. I want them to recognize and be appreciative of others so coaches’ encouragement is always helpful. I love that coach shared with the boys that he sent his mom a letter as well. Thank you all for a great football season. I believe any efforts made to help our boys grow into confident, thoughtful, caring, moral, and Catholic young men can only result in a positive outcome. This program can reinforce what is being taught in many homes and can also teach those who are not learning this at home. Sounds like a win/win situation to me.
...

Something happened with _____ over the past few months and in my heart I believe it is whatever you coaches are doing.  You are bringing him out and allowing him to know the feeling of being strong, proud and successful.  I cannot thank you all enough for what you have given him. 
...

I appreciate that _____ is hearing about virtues and then relating them to sports in general, football and particular but also what those virtues look like off the field – a far more important lesson in the long term.  I also appreciate that he’s being mentored on a weekly basis and talking about football and other stuff.
...

I enjoy the mentoring because I’m getting to know 4 players on the team that do not regularly practice with me (they are not lineman).  The greatest part of coaching is getting to know these guys and watching them develop through the season and when they go off to high school (and beyond presumably, though my first group are seniors now).  It is a hoot catching up with them when I see them around – I’m always surprised when they recall an incident at practice – and I think they are too when I recall one that they had forgotten.  This typically happens with my guys (lineman I’ve coached) but thanks to mentoring, I’m hopeful that I can add these 4 young guys to that list as well.  We talk football but spend most of our time on other topics.  I always quiz them on what they are reading and sometimes read it too.  

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Getting Stopped at the Supermarket

Submitted on October 12, 2011 - 6:06am
Here is some very encouraging feedback from Mrs. JoAnn D'Anton, the media arts and MDTV director at Monsignor Donovan High School in Toms River NJ.
...
Lou, I needed to inform you about the happening around Monsignor Donovan High School this weekend.  Well let me begin with we won our game.........the last few seconds of the game when our field goal kicker kicked for three points on the buzzer....it was a nail biter...and he won the game for us.....but that is NOT what impressed me.  

I don't care about the W's or the L's (well maybe I do a little) but what truly needs merit here is that like any other High School football game, the press is always there to interview the guys as they come off the field.  I was never so impressed with our boys response to the reporter.  The article spoke of the win but each boys response to the reporter was astounding.  They humbly spoke of their teammates and each one shared that it was a team effort. 

None of them spoke about themselves and THIS I FEEL is a true testimony of the work Coach Duddy is doing with his team here at Monsignor Donovan High School.  When I read the article I was proud to be part of the Monsignor Donovan Community.  

BUT ........when I went into the local Shop Rite and I had my id on, an older woman stopped me and said, "Hey, your from Monsignor Donovan?"  I replied, YES (proudly) then  she continued with, "I may be old, but I have been following football in Toms River for years and I have NEVER seen young men speak about their teammates the way those boys did. You should be very proud of them."

As I walked away, I said to myself...BRAVO Sports Virtue Program!

Thanks Dan.  Keep up the good work.

JoAnn

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Relentless: Player Testimony on Virtue of the Week

Submitted on October 9, 2011 - 6:25am
Helping kids know, value, live and transmit virtue using the platform of sports. This is is what SportsLeader is all about.

Thank you, Coach Mike Bickerman, for sharing.
...

Stoney Haines
Rushville-Industry High School, IL
October 6, 2011

In our football season this year we have been participating in the SportsLeader program. 

It gives us a virtue each week to look at and think about through the week. Our coaches all participate and become â€œmentors” to us. They talk to us about the virtue for the week and help us achieve our goals for the week. 

Last week we had the virtue relentless. This is a virtue that is well known to our football program at Rushville-Industry. To be relentless is to continue to strive for our goals that we make for ourselves in everyday life and to continue to strive even when the going gets tough. 

Our mentors teach us to do this and strive for our goals even when the going gets tough. For almost twenty years we made it to the playoffs. Then for the previous two years we went 0-9 in our season. 

Coach Bickerman came to our school to coach the year before these seasons. Being new then having two bad seasons didn’t look well to many of the locals. Seeing him push on through all of this and watching him keep going even when the going got rough really showed me the true meaning of relentless. 

As of now we have won 2 games in this years season and plan to get 3 more in the last 3 games. Me seeing coach push through all of that and then seeing what our team has become out of what little we had this is what relentless is. 

Relentless is going out every day of the summer to work out. It is going to two-a-days and proving yourself to everyone that you want a season that people remember. 

Relentless is going out that first game with a town against you but you give it your all. It is losing that game but coming back out to the practice field Monday and that Friday, you get the win. That is what I have gotten out of the word relentless from this program.

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Mid-Season Feedback from Parents

Submitted on October 6, 2011 - 6:34am
Something that you might find helpful is asking the parents of your players to send an email with the changes they have observed in their son or daughter since the beginning of the season.

Coach Paul Passafiume, Co-Founder of SportsLeader, of Louisville St Agnes did this yesterday and he got some pretty quick replies.

In Louisville, there is a web site, CatholicSportsNet.com, that features a different young person as their Rising Star of the Week. This week one of Paul's players is featured.

http://catholicsportsnet.com/louisville/page/rising-star

Monday, September 31, 2011
Joseph Fisher
Grade: 8th
School/parish attending: St Agnes
Sports currently playing: Football, Basketball
High school attending (or considering): St. Xavier
Best school subject: Math and Science
Why is Joseph a Rising Star?
Joseph Fisher loves the game of Football. He loves working as a team to achieve a common goal. He credits the Sports Leader Program as a big part of the success of his team. His team won the Toy Bowl in 2009 and 2010. At St. Agnes, he is consistently a 4.0 student, is a member of the Student Council, and the Kentucky Youth Assembly. Joseph is a volunteer at the Nazareth Home and created a group known as "Fifth Down Equipment Locker" where he collects used football equipment and donates to underprivileged football teams. He looks forward to attending St. X and playing for the Tigers.

...
Hi Coach
Thanks for all you do.

Since being on your team and participating in the Sports Leader program, I have noticed significant changes in Albert.  He has been able to persevere and overcome obstacles such as shyness, fear, and a slight lack of self-esteem.  He has really developed character, self-esteem and pride and is growing into a considerate, mentally and physically fit young man. He is learning to achieve personal and team goals and finding satisfaction in meeting those goals. He is putting his heart, mind and soul into everyday conversations, thoughts and activities both on and off the field, at home and school, in football practice and Boy Scout meetings and activities.

Thanks so much for your part in the Sports Leader program and for developing a great team of great young men!

Go Saints!

Jill Marie Lynch
...

1.       As my dad’s health deteriorated in August, Daniel saw how it was impacting me and I woke up one morning on a weekday after school had started and found scrambled eggs, orange juice, and toast waiting for me at 6am.   Daniel set his alarm for 5am and made me breakfast.    This was a direct result of virtue talk that coach Passifiume had with his team.   Needless to say, he didn’t think it was a very big deal but it was very special to me.
2.       I’ve also noticed for the first time, Daniel’s leadership on the field.   He may not be the biggest, strongest, or fastest, but he’s become a vocal leader on the field and he stays after practice consistently to improve himself.   The 7th graders see him putting in extra time which will lead them to do the same thing their 8th grade year.
3.       Daniel now recognizes how important it is to take responsibility for his own actions and I’ve seen a much greater ownership for his school performance.   In the past, he used excuses for not performing up to his ability,   Now, he takes responsibility for his performance and he’s working very hard to do the best he possibly can in school.   I’m convinced of that.
4.       Some of the smaller items we see that are very noticeable:   He sometimes helps his mother around the house without asking.   Sometimes, I come home from work and the grass is cut.   He always keeps his room spotless.   He enjoys spending time with his grandparents and talking to  them  (he recognizes it  may not be exciting to him but it means the world to them).   He is affectionate towards his grandparents and parents.  And my  personal favorite… he looks me in the eye and shakes my hand with a firm grip.
5.       If we could just work on that sibling rivalry thing, we would have it all figured out.

Thanks Paul for all you do.

Mark
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Mentoring Amidst Our Mistakes

Submitted on September 26, 2011 - 5:56am
Paul Barna, an assistant football coach at Monsignor Donovan High School in Toms River NJ, had a blow up with a player during a game. His head coach, Dan Duddy, asked him to apologize ... which he did with a lot of humility and then also asked him he would mind writing about the experience in the hope that it might help other coaches.

Thanks, Paul, your humility and effort is awesome.
...

According to my wife, I am the poster-boy for the definition of a Virgo. On the positive side, I am modest, shy, meticulous, diligent, intelligent, and analytical. On the negative side, however, I am overcritical, harsh, and a perfectionist. For the past 5 years I have used the negative side of my personality to coach both the varsity and junior varsity players. 

It was the coaching style that I grew up with from age 7 playing Pop Warner through my toughest years in college. I felt that it made me a stronger person mentally both on the field and off of it as well. The “toughness” my coaches modeled for me has helped me develop what some people call “cold blood”. It is not that I am “cold”. It is that when presented with a tough situation, I have the ability to shut the other person out; if only for a time.

In today’s society, our young men are faced with many more challenges then we were as teenagers. Because of that, they are more high-strung and emotional. We, as educators, have to take that into consideration when we correct or discipline these students. During the offseason, after reading Tony Dungy’s book “The Mentor Leader”, I made a heartfelt decision to start coaching with the positive side of my personality and learn to control the negative side. 

As Coach Dungy says in his book, “mentor leaders seek to have a direct, intentional, and positive impact on those they lead. At its core, mentoring is about building character into the lives of others, modeling and teaching attitudes and behaviors, and creating a constructive legacy to be passed along to future generations of leaders” (Whitaker, 2010). 

I knew it would be an uphill battle because it is hard to change something that has been ingrained in you since a little boy. There would definitely be “slip-ups” but it would be how I reacted to those that would determine my growth at season’s end.

In the past, during the mentoring sessions with our players, the coaches were told to help our players develop a resolution based on the “virtue word of the week”. These resolutions had to be measurable and precise. This year, we were asked as coaches to make a measurable resolution to our players as a way to model what we were looking for. I made a resolution during “bold” week to be more patient and positive on the sideline during games. 

“Mentor leadership works best when the ones being mentored are aware that the mentor leader has a genuine concern for their development and success. Those we lead will be more receptive if they believe we genuinely want them to succeed” (Whitaker, 2010). 

A player does not feel that you want them to succeed if you are yelling at them in front of their family and friends. He will shut you down faster than it took to trust you. I told the players in my group that if I slipped up, they could call me out as quickly as I will if they slip up with their resolution.

This past Friday night, during a frustrating 1st half, I had a blow up on the sideline with a player. The situation that happened on the field is irrelevant. I felt insulted by a player, but what I failed to remember is that I am working with young men that are still growing both mentally and physically. An adult should never feel insulted by a teenager because a majority of the time the child does not know they are insulting you. 

The fact of the matter is that I did not act on my resolution, which I knew was going to happen at some point during the season. When we got into the locker room at halftime, I asked a player in my mentoring group to tell the other players what my resolution for the week was. After the team heard my resolution, I let them know as a team that I screwed up. Following that I apologized to the player that I called out for losing my cool with him on the sideline in front of his family and friends.

By doing this, I hope I showed all of the players that just because I missed on my resolution once does not mean that I have to throw it out the window. It means that as long as I want to continue to pull from my positive traits, I have to work harder on pushing the negative traits out of my life. From this revelation at halftime, I feel that my relationship with the players, especially the one I called out, has grown even stronger. 

Nobody is perfect but not everybody can admit to their mistakes. It takes a man to admit he was wrong. By speaking to the team, I was able to model to them what a real man does when presented with a situation like I put myself in. 

As written in Tony Dungy’s book, “mentor leadership is all about shaping, nurturing, empowering, and growing. It’s all about relationships, integrity, and perpetual learning. Success is measured in changed lives, strong character, and eternal values rather than in material gain, temporal achievement, or status” (Whitaker, 2010). 

I can only hope that these players are able to learn not only from my experience in football but from the failures I have made and grown from in my life.

Works Cited
Whitaker, T. D. (2010). The Mentor Leader: Secrets to Building People and Teams That Win Consistently. Carol Stream: Tyndale House Publishers.
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The Million Drops of Water

Submitted on September 23, 2011 - 3:00am
This comes from a Coach with 28 years experience.
...

Many times in life we don't experience the "big, earth shattering" events. It is just the ordinary, the routine, the nothing spectacular.

In the midst of my ordinary routine I received some great news a few days ago. Great news that I would say is the result of "the million drops of water."

I have a player on my team named Brandon. No one in his family has ever graduated from High School. No one! Ever!

Well Brandon is well on his way to graduating and he just got accepted to Union College in southern KY.

He received his letter of acceptance in the mail and immediately called me. The excitement in his voice and the celebration in the background was priceless.

As I reflected on my relationship with Brandon, there really isn't anything that stands out as "the turning point" or the big aha moment. Just the constant practice ... the virtue talks, the mentoring sessions, the getting back up after falling ...

It all adds up over time. And when it adds up it can be pretty special.

I know the temptation to question, "Is this really worth it? Is it working?" always comes up.

Remember Brandon ... remember the million drops of water.

IT IS WORTH IT!

Steve Frommeyer
Principal and Head Football Coach Eminence High School
Eminence, KY
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Growth Through SportsLeader

Submitted on September 18, 2011 - 6:28am
Mentoring is a huge part of our virtues program. It takes some getting used to in order to blend it into your practice schedule but once you do the fruits are pretty powerful. Here is an example of exactly that.
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I wanted to tell you about a conversation I had with my starting quarterback during our one on one time and give you a progress report on our SportsLeader Program. 

This is my first year as head coach of the 7/8 grade football team at St. Gertrude. It was my understanding that last year the players were a little rambunctious in school. My starting quarterback was not one of the rowdy ones, but he admittedly enjoyed laughing at the antics. Through our virtue talks of Charity, Humility and Courage, he has stepped up as a leader to stop the silliness in school by his teammates. 

During one of our sessions he told me it was bothering him how some of the players were acting in school. I asked him what he thinks a complete man would do. He said to me he would take action and courageously call the teammates out and remind them what was expected of them as football players. So we decided through our conflict resolution that he would have a team meeting after practice, away from the coaches and call those players out and ask the team to help him to encourage his teammates to do the right thing. 

I checked in with him the next couple of weeks and he reported those kids are acting better and he felt good about having a role in that. 

I've had conversations with one of the 6/7/8 grade teachers and he has reported to me that he has seen an improvement in the football players this year over years past. This teacher knowing we are doing SportsLeader uses it to his advantage in class, and it's an effective tool. He just lets them know he will tell their coach and they will be motivated to do the right thing. (One of my players asked him if he understood what he was saying, afraid of the motivation to come, then asked him not to tell. lol). This teacher said he is seeing the biggest impact in the younger players, as they've not developed the bad habits the older players had yet. He is excited to see where those players will be in 3 or 4 years from now, growing up in SportsLeader through our football program. 

I've also had conversations with parents and they are reporting they are seeing a difference in their son's. The biggest thing is the boys are feeling as if they are respected from their coaches because we are taking the time to talk to them and show we care! The parents are grateful they have the support of coaches in forming their son's into quality young men. 

God Bless You,
Sal
~Choose to be Awesome and make today an Outstanding day!
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An Athlete Essay - A New Beginning

Submitted on September 15, 2011 - 6:02am
One of the coaches new to our SportsLeader association is Coach Jon Clark. This is his first year as the head football coach of Madison Southern High School in Berea, KY. He has done a pretty amazing job rolling out all of the different elements of the virtue program and the fruits speak for themselves.

Here below is an essay written by one of his players - a testimony to the power of virtuous coaching. It shows how important the player-coach relationship is ... that the virtue of the coach truly does make a difference.

Just imagine if every coaching staff was like this across the country. I highlighted some phrases that hit me the most.
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A New Beginning
By Zachary Morgan

The theme for the 2011 Madison Southern Football Team is “A New Beginning”, and that is exactly what this football program has been to me. Before I started playing football I was struggling to find a true hobby, something to be passionate about and that wasn’t the only issue I was having. In school, my grades were fine but at the same time, I knew I wasn’t meeting my full potential. Also, I can’t forget to mention how out of shape I was, even though I’m still out of shape today, it’s night and day compared to where I was before football. Another obstacle for me has been my medical condition known as Aspergers. Aspergers is a high-functioning subset of Autism that enables me to achieve greater heights academically but at the same time limits me socially and also makes coordination somewhat of an issue. Even though it is football that has shaped my life, I ultimately never would have been a part of the team without the help of Coach Jon Clark and the other Coaches.

If someone had told me a year ago that I would be where I am today with the football program, or if they had told me that I’d even be playing football at all, I’d look at them as if they were crazy. And they probably would have been if it weren’t for Coach Clark. When I first heard about a new Madison Southern Football Coach I decided to read up on him and see what he had done in the past. I was shocked at the experience level of Coach Clark, with him having experience from coaching at the high school level and coaching at some successful college programs, I right away saw this as a great opportunity for me to not only find something to be passionate about but also as a way for me to be a part of something bigger than myself, as a way to be part of a team.

Later, after some thinking, I decided I would make an attempt to join the program. After emailing Coach Clark and after a very encouraging phone call, I knew this was going to be a great experience for me. Since I was so out of shape, a plan was put into place to get me where I needed to be physically. Coach Clark, along with Coach Boon and Coach Skinner, worked with me individually after school for about a month at my own pace. When I first started working with the coaches, I couldn’t even squat without any weight, and at the end of that month there was a definite improvement. After that month the coaches and I agreed that I was ready to join the rest of the team during morning workouts before school.

The anxiety coming from the anticipation of the first morning workout was intense. The anxiety I had walking into the gym that first morning workout was probably my first and pretty much my most difficult emotional obstacle to overcome. This was mainly because of my Aspergers and the social difficulties it presented. Even though I did know a few people that were on the team, most of them were new to me. Even not knowing most of the group, with the help of the friends I knew and even the ones I didn’t, I felt like I fit right in. So even though the workout was physical it was still a bigger growth socially and emotionally for me than it was physically.
After another month or so of morning workouts, Spring football came around and I was looking forward to it quite a bit. It was going to be the first time I put on football equipment since the 4th grade. With Spring football there also came another obstacle, the heat. The medication I take for my Aspergers makes me much more heat intolerant. This required me to not only be more hydrated but also to be more cautious of heat related injuries such as heat stroke and dehydration. There were times during the practices where I had difficulties, but in the end I overcame them. This was made possible due to the coaches and the understanding they showed when it comes to the obstacles that stood in my way and of course with the motivation from my teammates. After a long week of practice it was finally time to hit the field for the last time before we got our new turf.

To end Spring football, there was going to be an intra-squad scrimmage on the last Friday of the two week period. It was all I could think about in the days prior to the scrimmage. After school that Friday I could barely wait an hour before showing up to the locker room. When I got to the locker room, on top of everybody’s locker was their jersey that they were to wear that night along with their pants and all their pads. There was a depth chart and roster on the wall, music was playing and as I walked around the corner to my locker and saw the neatly folded, white jersey on top, I knew Spring ball had paid off. Before I knew it, it was game time and we were headed out to the field.

It was a cool crisp evening, the lights had just come on and as we walked on the field the band was playing the school fight song, the stands were loud and people were everywhere. The field numbers had been set up along with the pylons. Everyone’s breath was visible as we started stretching and as game time came closer and closer I had chills running down my spine. And when game time finally came around the chills stopped, almost as if adrenaline had taken over, it was like no other feeling in the world. After the scrimmage I felt proud of myself and my teammates around me. There was no score taken that night, but even if it were I feel as if it wouldn’t have mattered. It was a victory for me and the entire team. We had completed Spring ball and it was back to lifting until the 2nd week in July.

After a few more months of lifting we began conditioning alongside our lifts. We were not only preparing for the season but also for our upcoming camp. This was no ordinary football camp; in fact there was no football at all during the camp. It was all about team building and coming together as a team. This was just another brilliant idea brought to the program by the new coaching staff. There were several things to look forward to about team camp, for instance the new helmet design was to be revealed. Along with those things to look forward to came some uneasy feelings regarding the physical aspect of camp. This was especially true because of the heat, not to mention the fact that it was being held at a National Guard training facility.

The bus ride there was nerve-racking and it wasn’t just me freaking out, a lot of other players were worried about the difficulty of the camp. And Coach Clark telling us to make sure we had tennis shoes on and that they were tied before we got there had us even more scared. When we got there we were welcomed by a National Guard drill sergeant banging on the side of the bus yelling at us to get off the bus and head over to a nearby grassy area for some PT (physical training). If we started with “Up Downs”, “Flutter Kicks”, and “Push Ups” many players, myself included, wondered what else camp had in store for us.

Later on in camp, we were introduced to the “Confidence Course” which is a scaled down version of the obstacle course used to train the National Guard recruits. Everyone on the team went individually but it was far from an individual task. Teammates were encouraged to cheer their fellow teammate on as he ran the course. Although the course is scaled down, it is hardly a walk in the park. Not even the most athletic people on the team found this course easy. When I started out, I didn’t think I could do it and the truth is I couldn’t have without the help of my teammates cheering me on. As I came onto the final stretch I was surprised to see some of my teammates running with me and helping me push through to the finish line.

Near the end of camp Coach Clark went on to tell us about the horse Secretariat and his Triple Crown victory and how it inspired the nation. Coach Clark also was able to relate the story to things like determination and inspiration. One of my favorite things he said was “If a horse can inspire so many people, certainly 80 football players can.”

More than eight months after my original decision to join the football team this journey has culminated in Field Dedication Night. I find a strong parallel between the inauguration of our new football field and the new life I feel I’ve found with and through this football team.

We began our evening offsite sharing a meal with our brothers on our team and our coaches. The bus brought us back to school where our family, friends, cheerleaders, band, and fans were waiting for us and lined our walk to our locker room and field. As I proudly put on my new number 77 jersey I can’t begin to tell you how proud I was to represent my school and my teammates. As we took to the field with our coaches it felt as though the moment I had been waiting for had finally come. I stood on the field and I witnessed military personnel parachute in the American Flag and the game ball. As I looked up into the sky and saw the parachutes open, I knew anything is possible.

When I first started out with football I had many worries, one of them being how we will fare on the scoreboard but now I realize that is not the most important aspect of this team, of course we want to win, but as long as we try our hardest it doesn’t matter what the scoreboard says. After looking back at all the obstacles I overcame. This is truly a “New Beginning” for me and for this football program and I am glad to be a part of this family brought together by Coach Clark.


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