The SportsLeader Blog

Building traditions within teams and schools is an integral part of what we try to do at SportsLeader. It is all a part of creating/strengthening a culture of virtue that inspires everyone to be a better person.

I was honored to be a part of two of those traditions over the past few weeks at Newport Central Catholic high school with Coach Denny Barnes and his softball team.
 
The traditions: Father-Daughter Jersey Night and Letter to Mom.
 
This is a very special group of families. The young ladies, their Dads and their Moms were all very inspiring. The level of of love, sincerity and genuine care by the Dads as they told their daughters how proud of them they were and that they loved them ... it was moving.
 
As the Dads would speak I would look at the girls faces ... the look in their eyes was priceless. You could tell that they really appreciated hearing those things from their Dad.
 
At the Letter to Mom Ceremony, each of the girls wrote a letter to their Mom and then read it to her in public. Coach would call up a Mother-Daughter duo, the Mom got to sit while the daughter read the letter. I was amazed at how much effort, detail and heart the girls put into this. The Moms were of course very grateful.
 
Before the ceremony with the Moms, I spoke with the girls and asked them what they thought about all these events and such. In short, they loved these so much that they want another one called Letter to Dad.
 
I can't encourage you enough to make these traditions a part of your team ...
 
Here below is a testimony from one of the Dads.
 
...
 
Mr. Noll,

I would wish to thank you organizing such a wonderful event last night.  The father/daughter night for the girls softball team was simply the most amazing experience, other than the birth of my daughters, that I have ever had the privilege to be part of.  The outpouring of emotion from each and every father was the most incredible expression of love I have ever had the chance to witness.  From a personal standpoint, the opportunity to express the love, pride and admiration that I have for my daughter to others in a public forum was an amazing feeling for both of us.  While I know that my daughter can see, feel and experience the love I have for her, to be able to share that with others was an amazing feeling.

I also had the opportunity to speak with Mr. Judd and he expressed that this was a program that was going to be implemented throughout the school for all programs.  If there is ANYWAY I can be of assistance to promote this program please feel free to call on me.  I would be more than honored to explain to others the impact this had on myself and my daughter.

Again, thank you so very much for this program and thank you very much for giving my daughter the opportunity to be part of such a wonderful school as Newport Central Catholic.
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I was blessed to be with an inspiring coaching staff last night at Madison Southern High School in Berea, KY. They are integrating the SportsLeader virtue program into all of their sports. Head football coach Jon Clark has been with us for over a year now and the impact that he and his staff have made on their athletes moved the Principal to want this school-wide.

Jon is an outstanding coach with a heart of gold. He is inspiring to say the very least.
 
When I arrived he was doing everything he could to get the new weight room finished, cleaned, platforms in place. You could see the fire in his eyes to help teach his boys to value new equipment and that this was all part of the process of creating an environment of virtue, of strength, of positive change.
 
At one point a group of players popped in to take a peek and it was rewarding to watch Coach Clark interact with these young men. You could tell that these young men loved their coach.
 
Coach shared an excellent story with me. Last year when he began adapting a virtue theme of the week, many of the players did not know what the words meant ... words like virtue, bold, determined ... they just weren't a part of their vocabulary.
 
Recently he called a team meeting and he asked his players to brainstorm and come up with the top 5 virtues that a Madison Southern High School football player should have. He watched and listened in amazement as his players argued about which virtues were the most important ... 
 
At the end of the evening as we were wrapping up Coach said something else that spoke volumes about what this is all about ... virtue and mentoring has above all made me a better person, made me a better coach. 
 
Virtue and mentoring CAN and WILL change our society. Keep plugging!
 
Maybe your kids did not "seem to listen" today ... maybe they don't "seem to be getting it".
 
Be Strong - they are. They will surprise you.
 
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I heard a song recently that really inspired me. It is a bit on the heavy side but the lyrics are powerful. 

Combined with NFL Linebacker Junior Seau's passing ... the words ring even more urgent.
 
As coaches we have amazing opportunities every day around the young people we coach to make a lasting impact.
 
Let's make the most of it.
 
 
Song "One Day Too Late" by "Skillet" from album "Awake"

Lyrics:

Tick tock hear the clock countdown
Wish the minute hand could be rewound
So much to do and so much I need to say
Will tomorrow be too late

Feel the moment slip into the past
Like sand through an hourglass
In the madness I guess I just forget
To do all the things I said

Time passes by
Never thought I'd wind up
One step behind
Now I've made my mind up

Today I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
'Cause we don't have long, gonna make the most of it

Today I'm gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me
Make a change, make the world a better place
'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late
One day too late
One day too late

Tick tock hear my life pass by
I can't erase and I can't rewind
Of all the things I regret the most I do...
Wish I'd spent more time with you

Here's my chance for a new beginning
I saved the best for a better ending
And in the end I'll make it up to you, you'll see
You'll get the very best of me

Your time is running out
You're never gonna get it back
Make the most of every moment
Stop saving the best for last

 

 

 

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A great way to unite your team over the summer is a Virtue Camp - an opportunity to get away, say for 24 hours, and focus on your team goals, team chemistry, and the real purpose of sports.

Ice-breaker games, swimming, physical challenges, dodgeball, bonfire, fishing, movie clips ... just some of the things we do at Camp River Ridge with teams in the mid-west who want to take their team to the next level.
 
If you live too far away, we can help you organize one closer to home.
 
If you are interested, just send us a note.
 
But - definitely look at your calendars and plan for one.
 
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When I first became a head football coach I soon realized that coaching football fundamentals and schemes was a small part of coaching.  The other part was the need to teach life lessons, values, and counsel these young men in times of crises. I came up with many ways to accomplish this and many were very successful but very hard to continue. I searched lessons on the internet, bought books, had daily quotes, had special speakers but never had a set curriculum to follow. It seemed I was always behind and I was out of ideas, but I knew this was a very important part of coaching a team. At one point I even contemplated changing schools so I could start over with all the things I had done. 

Then I heard about SportsLeader and attended one of their clinics. While at the clinic I bought a book with stories teaching virtues, but instead of jumping on board using the whole program, I just used the stories as a resource to teach lessons for the next two years. I really didn’t understand how the program was supposed to work and since I had done it myself for so long I was afraid of trying something new. When I ran out of ideas, again, I finally jumped on board to the total SportsgLeader Program.

I had Lou come and teach the program to my staff and I and the rest is history. The program has made this part of coaching so much easier. The program is easy to follow and the curriculum is very detailed. Everything I had done in the past was all laid out for me in a very easy format for me and my coaches to follow. 

One of the things that I was a little concerned about was that some people think that teaching simple human virtues is somehow crossing a line at a public school. It has never been a problem because SportsLeader has found a way to teach these much needed virtues by presenting it in a way that anyone can accept: goal setting, quotes, movie clips ... it has been a very unifying force within our program
 
In fact, we have an assistant coach who proclaims to be an atheist and he ended up doing the best job incorporating the program and teaching these important virtues. It was amazing to see him inspiring and teaching our players and how well they responded to him.
 
SportsLeader has helped change my program in a positive way and has done it with minimal effort.  I wish I would have had this program ten years ago it would have saved me a lot of time, money and effort. We are looking forward to seeing what new and exciting stories SL has come up with in the new Season 2 version.

Kent Wright
Head Football Coach
Lebanon High School

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Dear SportsLeader Supporter,

We are now working with well over 100 schools across the United States and Canada and momentum is growing. We have touched over 5,000 lives with mentoring, father-son and father-daughter jersey nights, virtue camps and dozens of other traditions that have imprinted memories that will last a lifetime. 

WE NEED STAFF

Because of SportsLeader's rapid growth, we are looking to bring on one and possibly two new full time members to effectively manage the positive acceptance with coaches and athletes at every level. In our short history of eight years, we have survived almost entirely on limited donations. However, we have reached the point that an annual fundraising request has become critical to our ability to accomplish the "mission" of helping coaches raise the maturity level of their athletes. The NEED for virtue has never been more apparent.

We must rely on your help. If you have ever benefitted from SportsLeader, we ask you to consider participating in our first SportsLeader fund drive.

Please consider a contribution of $30, $50, $100, $1,000 or more. Your financial support will directly aid coaches in their quest to help young people become the type of mature citizens - athletes we can all be proud of. 

CLICK HERE TO CONTRIBUTE

SportsLeader, Inc. is a 501 (c)  (3) not for profit and all donations are fully tax deductible.  If you prefer writing a check, please  make payable to SportsLeader, Inc. and mail to:

SportsLeader, Inc. 
1974 - A Douglass Blvd.
Louisville, KY 40205

If you have any questions or comments about this, please call Lou Judd at 859.512.2572 or Paul Passafiume at 502.291.4848 or Joe Lukens at 513.515.6868

We are grateful for your support.

Best regards,

Lou Judd

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One of the traditions that we encourage coaches to make a part their program is a "season-ending letter" to each one of the players in their mentor group.

I just recently had a personal experience of how amazing a simple letter can be, both for the writer and the receiver.
 
23 years ago when I was a Junior in High School I had a math teacher by the name of Robert Sagedy. He was, without a doubt, THE best math teacher and one of the the best overall teachers I ever had.
 
As many of you know, I am not the "sharpest tool in the shed" and in math, even less. 
 
At the end of the school year Mr Sagedy was kind enough to write me a very nice one page letter. Mr Sagedy is the type of man who truly loves his students and he poured everything he had into them in an astounding way.
 
Well a few days ago my Dad found that letter at his home and he mailed it to me. It is hard to describe what one feels reading something like that 23 years later.
 
Today as I was driving, out of the blue, I remembered that one day in class I was not getting what Mr Sagedy was trying to teach us, not much of a surprise there. But what was a surprise was that Mr Sagedy tried 9 different ways to explain the concept. He never got upset, never got flustered or impatient.
 
Finally on the 9th try I got it and from that moment forward I did so much better in that class. A little background - I hated math and did not do well in it. So helping a student understand, excel and "slightly" enjoy the subject is pretty miraculous.
 
I decided to make an effort to see if I could make contact with this great man. Here is the beauty of the internet. 
 
I found a Robert A. Sagedy with the same zip code as my old high school. I called and the answering machine picked up - it was Rita Sagedy. I had no idea what I was doing so I left the message saying that I was looking for an old teacher, apologizing if I had the wrong number.
 
Rita called back 4 minutes later. She explained that her husband is 73 and has alzheimer's and probably will not remember you but please give it a try and be patient. She put us on speaker.
 
He instantly remembered who I was and we had a wonderful conversation to the complete amazement of his wife. She said he has trouble remembering what he had for breakfast much less ... 
 
I explained that I had 5 children and he quipped, "Well at least you learned how to multiply." Classic Mr Sagedy.
 
At the end of the call, he got very emotional and said, "This is what I live for. To know that I did some good in someone's life. You have no idea what this means to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You've made my year. Please mail me a letter with a family photo. I appreciate this so much."
 
You can't put a price tag on an experience like this.
 
So please - write a letter to your players. You never know - that letter might help you, the writer, 23 years later more that you will ever know right now.
 
And of you feel the need to reach out to a former teacher or coach to thank them. Please do. You may make their year!

Virtue = Strength, Lou

 

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Coach Tom Ryan is a special man at the collegiate level. The pressure to win, the pressure to get your priorities out of whack is unrelenting ... but as you can read from the story below, he has his perspective very clear.

 
By Paul Daugherty: Ohio State wrestling coach discusses heartache of losing son
http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20120415/COL03/304150076/Doc-Wrestling-coach-inspired-by-his-late-son

Tom Ryan said, "Ache is my favorite word when it comes to learning something." Nothing comes free, he suggested. Not wisdom, not truth, not success. Not even sadness. Sadness costs.

Ryan is a wrestling coach, one of the best. In six years at Ohio State, Ryan has led the Buckeyes to two second-place finishes nationally. This past season, they beat Ryan’s alma mater and perennial title contender Iowa, in a dual meet. He was at Elder High on Sunday, working a clinic for kids attending the Premier Technique Wrestling Camp.

When it was over, Ryan offered a short talk. There was nothing exceptional about his urgings. Work hard, sacrifice for your craft, strive to be your best. The room was politely quiet. Then he talked about sadness, and everything changed.

Teague died Feb. 16, 2004. He was 5 when his heart stopped suddenly as he ran around the house, this glad presence, playing hide-and-seek with his mom.

Teague was Tom’s son. Or, rather, is Tom’s son. Death doesn’t change that. "I have four children," is how Tom began his talk. Three are alive.

How Tom has ached and what he has learned could fill a star with tears and a library with books. Five-year-olds aren’t supposed to die. They are the definition of life. There aren’t enough Whys in the world to frame adequately that aching question. Some answers, we’re not meant to know.

The ache has spawned learning for Tom Ryan, even as no one should have to learn anything that way.

"I know that the unexpected can happen in an instant," Tom says now. "I know there’s a heaven. I know to live every second."

Teague Ryan was on his back on a coffee table. His dad administered CPR. Tom Ryan tried it for 14 minutes – he remembers now, still, exactly 14 minutes – then he picked up his son and ran out into the street. Nine-one-one had been called. Tom didn’t know what else to do. So he took Teague over his shoulder and down the street, hoping to buy a few seconds.

His wife was in the house, screaming for the paramedics to hurry.

Forty-five minutes later, 5-year-old Teague Ryan was pronounced dead. Six months earlier, he’d had a throat infection. No one knew it had spread to his heart muscle and weakened it severely. Teague had a physical exam just three weeks earlier. "They checked his heart," Tom said. "Perfectly fine. No warning whatsoever."

Teague had spent all of the previous two days by his dad’s side. Tom coached wrestling at Hofstra at the time. Tom said, "It turned out Teague was a time bomb. It could have happened any time."

You can bury a 5-year-old, but that’s purely physical. Everything else remains.

"What kind of kid was he?” I asked Tom.

"Like every dad would say: Best kid in the world," said Tom. "He was magnetic. He would tell girls they were adorable. Had a personality bigger than life."

Teague wore his sister’s one-piece bathing suit to the pool, because he thought it looked like a wrestler’s singlet. He had a pair of woolen mittens he liked so much, he wrestled in them. Wrestling is a clannish sport: Sons wrestle because fathers wrestled. Fathers learn in the rec rooms of their childhood homes. Tom looked at his youngest son and saw a kid who’d go as far as his desire would take him.

"He was full of life. He was an original. Flavorful," Tom called Teague.

Now, eight years later, Teague is the inspiration Tom would give anything not to have. 

Tom has delivered his message of ache and learning hundreds of times. It has helped him heal. He has a platform for impacting the lives of the young. He feels blessed. He really does.

"When I realized that heaven is real and Teague was in heaven and that’s where I’m going to go, that’s when I was OK talking about it," is how Tom explained it. "We all have pain in life. I don’t know too many people who don’t have something that brings them to their knees. But I know there’s something after."

They named Teague after an Oklahoma State wrestler Tom knew, Teague Moore. Plus, they just liked the name. Tom believed Teague meant "warrior" in Irish and/or Gaelic. Actually, Teague means "poet or philosopher." Maybe Teague Ryan would have been those, too.

Maybe he is already, inside his dad. "Nobody caused me to hunger for the truth of life more than this kid has," Tom said. He offered a picture he’d taken when Teague was 5, not long before he died. Teague wore a singlet, arms extended and curled, striking a victory pose.

"That was Teague," Tom said.
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As a follow-up to our list of things high school athletes DO WANT in a coach ... Here are the top 5 they DO NOT WANT in a coach.

 
 
1. Mean, disrespectful, yells with no purpose. Discouraging and negative, belittles players.
 
2. Lazy, not dedicated. They are only there for practices and games and they don't care about anything else.
 
3. Favoritism - Starts players not based on skill or earned hard work.
 
4. Not understanding or willing to listen. Unable to encourage after a loss or disappointments.
 
5. Arrogant and sarcastic. Makes players feel even worse after they know they made a mistake. 
 
 
Analyzing all 5 there is one virtue that stands out immediately that will get rid of most of these bad qualities pretty quick: CHARITY.
 
We define charity very simply as the strength to do good for others.
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Lou,

I wanted to thank you for introducing our wrestling team to the virtue formation program.

The St. Xavier wrestlers, parents, coaches and community really appreciate the unique benefits of the Sports Leader Virtue Program. This season you could see the positive impact, on the mat and off. We always look at athletics as an extension of the classroom. Wrestling provides opportunities to assist young men in their formation as sons, leaders and some day, fathers and husbands.

The Sports Leaders format has allowed us to incorporate virtue into most aspects of our practices, matches and the time we spend interacting with each other as a team.

You could see the impact each day; wrestlers volunteering within the program to help in any way they could, giving of themselves for others. Guys wanted to do well not for just for themselves, but for the team.

You could also notice little things that demonstrated their friendships growing within the team. We used to ask for volunteers to clean the mats after each practice. Now guys come up to the coaches and ask if they can take care of that.

Another thing we noticed were guys stopping in the classrooms during their free periods, just to sit in and visit their teammates and coaches. They definitely feel they are a part of something bigger than themselves.

The team has grown in their relationships with each other and their brothers, sisters and parents. The “Singlet Night,” the “Mom Letters” and “Movie Nights” are just a few of the many ways of fomenting the positive relationships we strive for.  We look forward to next season and the continued relationship with Sports Leader.

Sincerely, 

Coach Tim “Mac” McDonald

Head Wrestling Coach St. Xavier HS 

Cincinnati, Ohio

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