5 Ways to Communicate During Conflict



As a new school year and sports season begins it is good to remember that we need to communicate well in order to live our virtue this week: Cooperation.

At times, the person with which it is hardest to communicate with during our coaching season is our spouse.

We are putting in very long hours, we are tired, full of emotions ... So is our spouse.

Let us remember to always put God first and then our spouse and our family.

Virtue = Strength, 

5 Ways to Communicate During Conflict 
by Ken and Trudi Blount

1. Realize that conflict is not bad. Getting things out in the open will bring clarity and understanding to your relationship. Don't allow things to fester and time to pass without communicating about the issues that hurt you. Hurt turns into bitterness that has the power to destroy your life.
2. Don't attack the person; attack the issue. The goal when you disagree is not to determine who is right or wrong. The goal is to resolve the issue. The devil wants to get in the middle of your disagreement and paint your spouse as your enemy. Remember, your spouse is your ally. Deal with the issue you are disagreeing about without turning against your spouse.
3. Discipline the way you disagree. Don't belittle your mate or use cutting remarks, negative body language (rolling eyes), emotional threats or obscenities. The Holy Spirit is there to help you argue without being ugly toward each other. You can stop ugly behavior by the power of the Holy Spirit.
4. Stick to the subject. Keep the past in the past. Avoid phrases like "You always do this." Don't be a history buff. Remember Philippians 3:13, which says, "But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead."
5. When you can't come to a place of resolution, take a time-out. It may take 30 minutes or it may take a few hours, but it can be good to get alone and process. Let God speak to you about the situation. He may cause you to see the situation differently, or He may help you better understand your spouse's point of view. Even if you need some alone time, always come back together. Don't let walls build that separate you.

Even when you've done everything you know to do to argue constructively, some disagreements will leave you feeling hurt and angry. In those times, you must choose to forgive. Jesus forgave us when we didn't deserve it. As Christians, we must do the same. We have to be willing to let things go. Not understanding our differences is probably the core reason the enemy is able to get in our house.